The breath of llife

Ok so tonight in support group or facilitator told us to imagine that we woke up very disoriented with family and friends standing around. Suddenly it becomes apparent that you are lying in a hospital bed. Amid the low chatter you hear the doctor tell you mother to call in the family and finalize the plans for you only have 2 weeks to live. She then asked us what goes thru your mind. I began to wonder if i would thing of the things i had never gotten to do, the dreams that never came true the man i never found, the home i never brought and things of that sort. Or would i think about the mistakes i made and the time i wasted being mad a about stupid shit. in any case at that moment that hit me, life is too short. The saying is true there is no yesterday for it has gone and the is no tomorrow for its not guaranteed theres no day but today. All thru this whole ordeal that fact had never really meant that much to me. I began to think about living for today yet planning for tomorrow i thought about how i can cut down on time wasting and increase productivity, These thoughts coincided with deep contemplation about why i felt so stagnant in life. For a moment i saw everything so clearly. Then our facilitator drove it home she told us that someone in the room had zero t cells and had barely made it out of the hospital alive. Immediately tears, for a man i do not kno, began to flood my eyes i realized how stupid i have been to waste so much tme wallowing in my sorrow. I thought about how ungrateful i had been about having medicine and being healthy. I considered how much i poison my body. Suddenly i was overcome with joy. You may ask y and the reason is... god is awesome he is so good he gently rests upon me every morning to wake me and embraces tenderly until i drift off to sleep. God has kept me, he has given me peace and understanding in a time of storm and the will to live when others have chosen to die. My cup runs over with the little thing. I have had a few people ask what am i thankful for well, im happy for my life because it is a gift i am thankful for gods love and finally i thank god for my healing. Healing is not always in the body it starts with the soul which god has mended it trickles into the heart which god has patched the heart will heal the body someday even if its by a love of ppl that inspires someone to find a cure. My healing is the will to live the drive to succeed and the need to be a light for others. That's why i did my interview that is why my status is public and most of all that is why i have allowed my face to be on the front lines fighting for a HIV?AIDS free 2morrow! get at me 4 more info