As i stand on the edge of life changing decision i bid a thankful goodbye to my past. I wave a painful goodbye to my silver spoon a thankful one to the hostility that i have carried around toward those who only wanted to help. I am so thankful for those who have stood by me thru these last few painful years. Thru the loss of the love of my life the painful disconnection from my family the loss o my job and realization that my delusion of grandeur was just that, a delusion. Most of all i thank those who have stood by me thru my diagnosis with HIV i want to say a special thank you to those friends that have come into my life as a result of that life changing news. This is so hard b/c i don't know how to walk away from my life, the friends i have known for years the home that i grew up in, my mother who loved the the hurt away and help me the quietly without judgment thru the hard times when she could. How do you move to a place where no one knows your name and start over, a place that you dont know how to navigate neither geographically nor socially. I sat and cried for three days asking god why...the loss of Zola almost sent me to the edge but god told me i wasn't asking for the right things. So i asked to release me from all of my vices set me free from my materialistic needs sever my ties with the familiar and empower to walk into the dark night knowing that he is taking me toward a bright new day. I got everything i asked for. So i stand on te edge of the rest of my life and im ready to dive in. I love you guys but i gotta go. Onward i say, away from sleepless night toward days filled wit smiles. I pray that love is on the way. Its been 2 years all alone and im ready for something new ive got a fresh canvas and this time i want the perfect man there to help me fill it with vibrant colors. To the friends who will make it thru this transition know that our relationship will never change and you better come see me just bring a jacket. Chicago here i come to shake the foundation and turn the city upside down cause that new new bitch is comin 2 town and i have plans 2 hang around for a while.
Breathe Me - Sia
