The Transformation

The time is right im gonna pack my bags and take that journey up the road because over the mountains i see the bright sun shining and i believe ill find my happiness inside the glow. I dont know waht else to do in this blog but be real. The pain that i feel a daily basis is enough to warrant a morphine drip to the soul. My whole life i have just wanted to be sucessful and get away from this city. I love the people that surround me but it is important to understand i can no longer live here. I want to go somewhere far away from the pain away from my parents. This is my one chance to hit the reset button. I have torn my soul to pieces looking for that extra ounce of strength to press that damn button for years and i found it. If that means i leave zola behind thats just another layer that i shed with this move. Some may say im am running away from my problems but the truth is i am going to a place where i can shine where i have people who love me unconditionally and are willing to shelter me untill i can again stand on my own. I have never blogged this and its because prior to last monday i didnt mean it but here goes... i hate my parents from the depths of my soul they have left me broken and disillusioned with the future. While i am grateful for them giving me life i will move change my name and never return. It has occured to me that it is time to live my life for me and only me with no regrets. I will shoot for the moon and even if i fall i will land among the stars. Too many tears have been shed to many dreams have been shattered. The time has arrived. As my tears run out and my cheeks slowly dry to the mac matte finish that the world has grown accustomed to, my self confidence grows and i stand a little taller and when i finally stand tall enough to see over my mountain i will be blinded by the prosperity that god has in store for me.



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The Silver lining

You never really know how god is going to bless you. Some of the things that you chalk of to the work or Satan can be gods plan to bless you beyond measure. Sometimes i believe god has to set you up to receive your blessing. Have you ever been driving and realized that had you not left your id badge or your morning cup of joe that the accident on the expressway could have been you? Or that the daycare held you up just long enough to avoid being a hostage in the latest hold up lol. I belive that it was gods plan that i be infected so that i cant infect the world with knowledge. So i can save young men educate families and change the world. Some days i thank god for healing, healing you ask. MMM MMMM good my healing is like Campbell chicken noodle soup for the soul. Comfort peace and soothing reassurance that this too shall pass. Some days i thank good for sickness most days i thank him for the rain others times i ask him for undestanding and patience as i pray. Some trust in horses some trust in chariots but i will trust in the name of the lord FOR the name of the lord is a strong tower the righteous can run their race and they are safe! Its just when you want to give up hope and get tired of tryin right before you throw it all away, that you tear thru the padding and bull and you find what had been there all along...the silver lining just waiting to bless you on this, God's appointed day.