THE HEART OF THE MATTER - INDIA ARIE

This song spoke 2 me i juss wanted 2 share

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm

I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore
Even if you don't love me anymore

CONFESSIONS OF A HEARTBROKEN LONELY SOCIALITE

The constitution of the United states promises us 3 things, life which is given by god liberty which was forged by our forefathers and the pusuit of happiness. It is so ironic that they give us 2 things but charge us with the task of pursuing one. Happiness comes in many different forms for many different people. Some dream of wealth and prosperity others dream of the american dream white picket fence and all. I am a lil different. In all of my prayers hopes and dreams i wish for that which most do but i also long for a love that will rival all loves to come. Tonight as i sat and watch the Sex in the City movie i became jealous. A sense of loneliness that i have not know for a long time now encompassed me and i wept. The most simple things cause me to feel this way. I dont need houses and cars to be happy. A man with a lot of money is great but i dont need it. I want a man who can be there for me when times are ruff argue with me when we dont agree cringe when i grit my teeth in my sleep hold me when i cry and wipe the tears when im done. Is this too much to ask. If you are out there man of my dreams let me be the first to know. You cant imagine how hard it is to process one guy after another in the pursuit of my happiness, it is so draining. It has been almost 2 years since i have had a man to hold me when i sleep and kiss me when i awake. Person after person ask me a simple yet not so simple question, your beautiful smart and intelligent why are you single? I dont have the answer to that question and i fear i may never know. In this dark time in my life i just need someone 2 let me know its all gonna be ok. i want to love, i want to love like i have never wanted to love before. im ready. In this ifestyle everyone is so image conscious brows and labels balls and houses, i guess that is why i dont fit in. I go to great lengths to make myself beautiful, i mean come one everyone knows i have the brows of fury, but every mornin as i do my face darken my hair and make ready for the day and each night as i exfoliate and prepare for bed i wonder what is it all for? Being pretty is hard work many men see us pretty boys as unattainable spineless and bitchy. i am not one of those pretty boys. I am a housewife and loving spouse i am the man of your dreams. Most men are just 2 afraid to find out why. Rarely do most socialites give you a glimpse into their personal memoirs but these are mine. I share them with the hopes of finding love and my samantha charlotte and miranda. These are the confessions of a heartbroken socialite and you readers are my critics. thank you for your readership feedback and love.

UNTILL THE DAY I DIE

every night before i go to sleep i ask god if its wrong for me 2 hate u but i dont kno why because as hard as i try i just cant seem 2 convince myself that i care any less for you today than i did in salem gardens days. true, indeed that was along time ago and in my heart i grieve b/c the man i knew and loved is dead and gone and i kno nothing about the man that i see pictured in his vestments. i go thru the day thinkin of u and go 2 sleep at night praying and longing for you. respect me enough to read this and take it for what it is its a confession and a man of you religious valor should understand that. i feel stupid the craziest things remind me of u fights in the streets wssu my black watch bishop wl washingtons cd tye tribett and ga i made it thru, i could go on and on. i was inspired 2 write this b/c last night as i listened to Micheal Jackson's heal the world and i asked myself i wonder if he thinks of me. i dnt kno who ur newest chick is but i envy her as i will the ones 2 come b/c not even ur mother will ever love u the way i do. i ask god 2 burden ur heart with that fact. and yes i ask god for things assoc. with what u call a sin but as i see it god is love and love is of god and its never wrong in any form. my love is real. after i send this i feel as though i may never hear from u again but i hold tru 2 my word, if we cant be then i cant know you my soul is tied to urs. i think if i ever do find someone who completes me half as much as u did he will be cheated b/c a piece of my heart is pinned to your coat tail and it will follow u forever. before i grew up i would not be able to say this next part but i have matured and here it is...i wish nothin but the best 4 u i speak prosperity over ur life in the name of the creator i pray all your hopes and dreams will come 2 pass pressed down shaken together and running over and finally i hope that god opens ur eyes and broadens ur narrow horizons. i will close saying this...my love runs long like the nile, crimson like the red sea, high like mt everest and low live the grand canyon may u always remember that. never forget me never stop loving me cause i kno u do and i swear a solemn promise on my very life i will never stop lovin u.
always and forever